Bump in The Road

I’ve been burnout since the end of last year. I worked my butt off in the lead up to Christmas. I smashed out some incredible projects and market sales that I’m hugely proud of and thought that the 2 month travelling trip I had booked following on from Christmas would be worth the stress, and a ideal opportunity to relax and enjoy life outside of work, and whilst it was an incredible and inspiring experience, it unfortunately lead to even more burnout. Despite being pretty aware of this and taking what felt like suitable preventative matters, such as re-attending therapy and slowing down a little, it wasn’t enough, I needed a clear cut and reset.

Navigating a capitalist world as a neurodivergent person is TOUGH. 2 months ago I got a section 21 eviction from the best home I’ve ever lived in, the first space I felt truly comfortable and at home, and if that wasn’t challenging enough, life threw in some extra huge curveballs and within the same couple of weeks I also lost my part-time jobs, my therapist, access to a car, my relationship, and had to re-home my cat. I truly felt like I reached rock bottom, however I’ve been reminded of my ridiculous resilience and that I have THE MOST incredible friends in the world who’ve supported me in so many ways. Including feeding me, housing me, listening to me cry and complain a lot, and letting me share a gorgeous little studio space in Bristol so I can still attend all the markets I have booked in the lead up to Christmas!

I’ve now begrudgingly moved home, bought a car, navigated different therapising techniques, and slogged my way out of the trenches, back to where I was at earlier this year, but now with more clarity and a better perspective. Life is still incredibly challenging, but thankfully I can see the light again.

Reaching this feeling of rock bottom, I of course had doubts about continuing my career as an illustrator, I’ve had to look at everything critically, but we heal by doing, and being creative will always be a part of me. I’m fucking great at it and it brings me joy. Monetising it brings me stress, but monetising anything brings me stress, creativity is not the problem here. So I’ll still be drawing and attending market stalls, but my commissions will be very limited whilst I navigate what I’m capable of.

Sunset Swims

Another addition to my travel drawing series, Sunset Swims at South Beach, Fremantle… I redrew this scene way more times than I care to admit. I had such a strong vision of what I wanted the illustration to look like; I remember swimming up to it, climbing up the ladder and seeing the sunset in the background, and thinking I need to capture this incredible moment, so I can remember it forever. But I think I’ve finally accepted the reality that I’ll never be able to quiet capture the endorphin fuelled magic that it was.

My first attempt was based almost purely off memory, of what I thought it looked like, and I was pretty happy with where it was going, but then I looked at photos we had taken, and googled South Beach Fremantle Pontoon, to discover I had drawn a completely different type of pontoon, the shape and material was all wrong, and for a perfectionist like me, I couldn’t just continue with it the way it was.

So I redrew it, trying to combine my foggy memory with a pretty limited selection of photos. My memory has always been pretty useless, and despite this experience being so magical, I feel it’s also pretty valid that I wouldn’t be able to visualise every detail, when my physical fitness isn’t great and in order to experience this moment, I had the swim what felt like miles (probably was about 30 meters), and also had eyes full of sea water. But here it is, Sunset Swims.

Jordan Rakei Gig

I’ve been having a rough time in my personal life recently, which has subsequently had a big impact on my work life. However towards the end of last month I saw Jordan Rakei preform at Bristol Beacon, and not only was it massively enjoyable and beneficial for my mental health, it also ignited a significant amount of creativity and motivation which I’ve really been lacking, and encouraged me to capture the experience in an illustration.

I’ve always been a huge fan of live music, and it’s often been the subject of my artwork. I bought a ticket to this concert a few months before, blissfully unaware of how my life would be so dramatically different at the time of attendance, and how much I would need it, but it ended up being a beautiful reminder that music will always be something I can go back to, no matter how bleak life feels.

FLORA Prints

Back in 2019, for a 2nd year university project I created FLORA, an exploration of psychedelic musical environments, with the goal of demonstrating how music can be truly immersive by creating visual languages for 5 different genres, and 5 years down the line, it still holds a very special place in my heart! I’m sharing this for two reasons, one being a little reminder or outreach that I’d absolutely love to get involved in more music inspired projects. I’ve been incredibly lucky to have a music fuelled summer, attending a couple festivals including Boomtown, Outlook, and Outro Festival, seeing some of my favourite artists preforming, and it’s definitely reignited my passion for live music! I’m attempting to knuckle down a little more as we approach the end of summer, so the second reason I’m sharing this is to highlight that these illustrations are now available as prints again, and are soon to be stocked with 2 of my retail partners! Click here to shop.